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Need help to write a fanfic

Okay I need someone to help me with a Star Wars KOTOR II/Stargate Altantis crossover

I got parts of chapters 1 and 2 started and I'm posting them here as sneak peaks and yes bad spelling and all so you will have to deal with it for now.

TITLE here


When one relies on sight to perceive the world, it is like trying to stare at the galaxy through a crack in the door. –Darth Traya


John Sheappard boredly stared out the Deadulas viewport down at the planet they had come to fetch some of their people off of after a malfunction with the Stargates DHD o nthe planet. McKay and a few other of the local brains we’re down their tending to the problem trying to see if it could be repaired, but that was the last thing they needed was for the Wraith to show up and be stuck on the planet with a ton of buggers and be unable to escapse.

“Colonel Caldwell we are getting reports there is something moving towards us, we are detecting a slight energy reading, but our scaners are barely detecting it.” One of the women stated pulling Caldwell from his museing to move over and look at whatever it was their ships scans had detected.

“Is it Wraith?” He asked looking down at the small spot on the screen that seemed to be fadeing in and out.

“Whatever it is sir it seems to be nearly depleated of power…I highly doubt it is Wraith though.” The woman continued to type in commands.

“Put on sublight engines and  head forward I want to see whatever this energy reading is.” Caldwell ordered moving over to John who was already looking out into space for whatever was moving towards thems.

“You know, everytime I’m with you Colonel we always seem to find myterious things floating in space.” Sheapprd half joked, but serious at the same time as he said this.

Caldwell nodded his head in agreement, “Let’s just hope whatever it is, isn’t anything dangerous this time. I really don’t feel like chaseing you or someone else around Atlantis while you attempt to kill each other.”

“Hey, I did technically have the nice guy, Weir had the crazy woman.” John pointed out.

“Nice or not. That entire ordeal was a nightmare.” Caldwell grumbeled.

“Sir, the energry reading is getting slightly stronger now, we should be coming up to it any moment now.” The woman replied entering in some information at her data terminal.

John and Caldwell began to stare intently ahead and soon the item in question came into view. It was a ship and it looked like it had seen better days. The outside of it looked like it had gone through hell. Panels we’re missing on the sides, it looked like it had been in a battle at one point. However it was the desgin that had John and Caldwell stareing at it.

The ship looked like a replcia of the Millieum Falcon seen in Star Wars that Han Solo used. It was like a dream come true to see a ship build like this. “I wonder if she can still fly.” John mused more to himself then anything else.

“If it can still work or be repaired, that ship would be of use to you guys in Atlantis.” Caldwell knew it was rough for them to only have Puddle Jumpers and no ships of their own with hyperdrive capeabilites on them.

“I’m sure if we lock McKay inside he will fix it.” John grinned, but he wondered what the low energy reading was on the ship. More then likely the thing might have had a bit of juice still in it.

“I want the ship beamed down onto the planet. It’s too big to fit into our docking day with the F-302’S, once it’s been beamed down to the planet I want a team of men beamed down to head inside and investiage the ship.” Caldwell ordered and looked over at Sheappard, giving him a look that said he was going to be leading.

“Alright. I’m going to have Rohan and five other Mariens come with me.” John nodded to his giant friend who seemed to be more then happy to join John as they left the control room to prepare to be beamed down to the planet shortly with some other.

“Dr. McKay, Deadulas has just asked for all members to meet buy the Stargate, they have discovered something drifting near the planet and are beaming it down. It’s apprently a ship.” One of the women informed him.

Rodney looked up from what he was doing slightly annoyed to be disturbed from his work and would have snapped at the woman for bothering him, but when he heard they had discovered a ship drifting near the planet and we’re beaming it down he wondered what kind of ship. “Right,” He drawled and tapped his headset ordering all his science team to report to the area around the Stargate and wait with them until the ship was delivered onto the planet.

“Rodney, what is going on?” Zelenkia asked as he came moving over to him.

“Apprently that low energy reading we picked up ahwile ago was a ship drifting in space, the Deadulas is beaming it down to the planet shortly, but what kind they didn’t say.” He replied looking up from his data pad and saw everyone was where they should be and npdded to the miltary woman to give the go ahead.

“Colonel Caldwell, the area is now emptyed you may beam the ship down.” The woman stated into her own headset.

All of Rodneys science team stood by in silence as a large object was beamed down to the planet and the expression on some of the peoples faces was priceless as they stared at the ship. It truly did look like something you would see out of the Star Wars universe.

“Incredible, it looks like the Millieum Falcon.” Zelnkia said in awe as he and a few others began to inch closer to the ship itching to touch it and inspect it over.

“Actually it reminds me of the ship in the games I used to play. The Ebon Hawk from Knight’s Of The Old Republic I and II. The ship belonged to Darth Revan and then later on in game two the ship became the Jedi Exiles.” One of the younger scientists said coming up to stand beside Zelenkia.

“Never played those games, heard they we’re good.” Zelenkia stated.

“As interesting as all this is, I’m picking up the energy readings much better now. Whatever it is inside that ship it’s almost out of power. The energry readings keep dipping and spikeing.” Rodney stated to his colleage.

Before anyone could ask Rodney more information John, Rohan, Teyla, and four mariens we’re beamed down to the planet fully armed. Rodney looked up from the tablet in his hands and noticed his teammates now on the planet and moved to ask the question if he could go and peak inside and got the gesture to grab his gear and hurry it up.

While the Mariens and Rohan worked on pulling the hatch down on the bottom of the ship John moved over to Rodney who was almost done getting ready to join his team mates. “So McKay, if the ship is fixable what do you think of us adding it to our collection?” John grinned.

“It can be but from the looks of it that things going to need a huge makeover. I really want to see whats inside that ship befoure the power deplates completely it has maybe a week left of power from my current calculations.” Fixing his vest he moved with John over to the ship

Chapter 2


I will kill all she loves, all she protects, until her hands are drenched in blood. –Darth Sion

As she moved through the silent halls of Malocore V she found herself tense and on alert for anything that would happen next inside these walls. Her robes we’re soaked in blood from so many Sith warriors she had slain to make her wa in here. Yet in her heart she knew this madness wasn’t over, it would not be over until Keria was killed, butshe would have to go through Sion to get to his master.

Using the force to open a door she entered into the vast open room of the main chamber on Malocore and she stopped when she noticed the bloody boot markings and froze feeling her blood run cold as she followed the trail with her eyes and her heart lept in her throat when she saw the owner.

“Atton…” She raced over to the man dropping to her knees inspecting the wounds and felt tears fill her eyes noticeing just the true severity of them, and his presence in the force was weak. “Atton, please wake up it’s me the Exile.” She shook him lightly wanting him to come around. ‘Please don’t die on me Atton.’ She thought to herself.

“Exile, we meet at last.” Sion’s cold voice came from the other entry and she looked up her face littered with tears as she stared at the Sith with hate in her eyes.

“Why did you hurt him?” She stood grabbing her lightsaber moving away from Attons body and flicked the purple double bladded saber to life.

“The fool dared to take me on to save you, but he was too weak to handle me. Soon he will die, just as you soon will Exile.” Sion lit his own red lightsaber stareing at the woman, feeling her pain, and hate in the force. “His blood is on your hands Exile.” He smirked.

“Basterd, I won’t let you leave this room. If I must die I’m taking you with me.” She snarled and lept forward clashing blades with Sion.

“Yes, give into your hate Exile, let it consume you and let the darkside power you.” He kicked her back into the wall.

She got up from the wall and narrowed her eyes, hardly noticeing the faint golden flicker in her eyes. The man she loved was dying and it was because of this Sith Lord he lay at deaths door. All she wanted to see was Sion dead and at her mercy so she could have her revange for Atton. Years of being alone and wandering space to block out the past, she had finally found someone to love, protect…Have a normal life with and now it was being taken from her, just as so many other things had been stripped from her.

The fight didn’t seem to last long, the Exile raw emotions had gotten hold on her and she had defeated Sion leaving his body to rot on the floor as she moved back over to Atton and carefully pulled his body towards her. She head resting on her chest as she carefully ran her hands through his hair, her fingers gentle brushing over his face, and she paused when his eyes slowly opened revealing tired pain filled brown eyes that locked with her own.

Atton’s hand moved up to her face stroking the soft skin, “You're... alive. Did I save you yet?”

She leaned into the touch of his hand tears falling down her face, her eyes opened once again and looked into his own, “Sion's dead... It's over.”

He looked at her eyes seeing that faint golden hue lineing them, she had used the darkside, she had promised him to never fall, “Your eyes... that bad, huh?” He coughed, a little blood dribbleing down his chin, “Always was ugly. Now the outside matches...”

She relized what he met and looked away in shame, “Atton...”

He used his shaking hand to turn her face back to look at him, “Was waiting for this, but it's not fair...” he coughed again, a little more blood came this time, “let you down... was supposed... to save you...”

She bit her lower lip feeling her eyes blur a little, and used her thumb to wipe away the blood on his mouth, “It's okay... I know, you...”

He shook his head a little, “Was tired of living anyway... too many deaths... Never told you... lied to you.”

She noticed a few of her tears land on his cheek, she had never cried like this before, she felt as if her heart was tearing into pieces, “Sshhh, it's okay... try... lie down, rest...” She carefully lowered his body so that his head rested on her lap.
Atton shook his head weekly again he didn’t want to see her cry, “I don't want you to see me like this! I don't wanna... die in front of you... can't” he coughed harder this time. “bear it...”
”Don't say that...” She pleaded stroking his face loveingly.
Atton smiled tiredly at her words, he would watch over her in death. He loved her so much he wanted her to fin love again after him, “Loved you from the moment I first saw you... thought you were a dream... meant every word... tried to play it off... as a joke... wasn't funny...”
Her heart lept into her throat at his words and she bit out a choked plea, “.... Atton, please...”

He groaned coughing harder this time as a great amount of blood came up, “Hurts when I laugh... Hurts... You... saved me... joke's on me...” He chuckles forceing a smile to his lips, his eyes felt so heavy and he was tired…so very tired. “Hurts... when I laugh... hurts...” His voice trailed off as his hand hit the cold marble floors, his life force gone. Atton Rand was no more.

“Atton…” She pulled his body up and shook it, “Atton please wake up!” She felt her the tears stinging her eyes as her vision blurred again. “Atton!” She broke down clutching the dead body of her lover close to her chest sobs racking her body as she moarned for the man who had given her a reason to want to live, to help save the Republic.

Now he was gone, Atton Rand had passed on into the force and now she was alone without a soul she could truly trust in this galxey. She looked at the man in her arm and pressed a kiss to those still warm lips in farewell. She would defeat Keria…No Darth Traya and she would go into the unknown regions of space after all of this and find Revan.

The Exile stood and moved past Darth Sions body towards her fate that awaited her beyond those doors and would descend right into the center of Malocore V. She never looked behind her, if she would have that day she would have noticed Atton’s body had faded away, only leaving behiend his clothing he had once worn.

Two weeks Later…

“ATTON!” The Exile jolted upright on the infirmary bed screaming out Atton’s name and felt her face was wet and reached up to her face feeling the tears. She was shaken by the memory and wanted nothing more then to forget about it. Everytime she slept, she remembered Atton laying their in her arms dying.

She was so consumed with her thoughts she hardly noticed Carson apprch her bed and would have fallen off the bed at the gentle hand that landed on her shoulder had Dr. Keller not grabbed her carefully placeing the woman back in the center of the bed. “Are ye okay lass?” Carson’s comferting voice made her look up at him.

Teal eyes that held such raw emotion, Carson had never seen such eyes and they we’re quite equiste to say the least. “Here, you go lass to wipe them tears away.” He smiled handing her a cloth which she accepted without any words.

“Thank you…” She said trying to contain her emotions, but it was only four months since his death. Or at least she had thought, but it was still so fresh in her mind his death.

Carson seemed a little excited hearing her speak and her accent as well. It hinted at mix of Scottish from the sounds of it. “Do you think you can answer a few questions for us lass? Like what ye remembered last.” He questioned.

“Aye, my ship was ejected from Hyperspace and I wound up in un-charted areas that weren’t even on my Starcharts nor in the Navi computer…I didn’t know how long I would be out their and my sublite engeines weren’t even working properly so I crudely made a cryo-statis unit from all parts I had on the ship and when I knew it would work I deverted all power to it to keep me alive until another ship disovered the Ebon Hawk…How long have I been asleep?” She questioned looking at the man.

Keller paused in the blood preassure test she was about to do and bit her bottom lip not certain if now was the best time to tell their patient just how long she had been in it and caught Carsons eyes. It seemed he wouldn’t withhold any information to her.

“Ye have been asleep lass for over 5000 years…Some of our people we’re near the planet you’re ship was slowly passing over, and it was quite beaten up too from what I was able to see. Had our team not disocvered your ship in under five days lass you would have died.” Carson stated.

“You we’re brought here right away your body had gone into shock once you had been relased, you’ve been asleep for two weeks and came in and out, you always kept saying, Atton in your sleep or barely alert states…” Keller added.

“Over 5000 years…” She reapeted the words more to herself then to the healers as her hands fisted into the blankets tightly.

Carson noticed she had barely heard Keller’s words


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 2nd, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
Nice! Sounds quite good so far. Was really drawn into Ch 2 there for awhile. Keep up the good work.
Dec. 3rd, 2008 12:16 am (UTC)
Glad you like chapter two! ^_^ I had a box of kleenx while I was writng the flashback. -huggles atton plushie-

By the way...Title wise what do you think of: Uncharted Worlds of The Lovers Walk
Jan. 11th, 2009 07:27 am (UTC)
I would have left out the part about the "Atlantions" talking about what the ship looked like. I mean then comparing it to the Falcon was alright but you should have left the Ebon Hawk out. Just my opinion.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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